Advice To My Future Son On How To Handle Your Love Life Like A Real Man

As Im writing this, I havent met your mother yet. Your Dad probably has a lot of growing up to do before hes lucky enough to meet your mom. Be that as it may, I feel obliged to share this advice with you, not only for guidance, but also as a forewarning.

By the time this has reached you, Im sure that there are even more technological advances interceding with dating than there are now. And if the present is any predictor of the future, then people are even more disconnected, isolated, and lonely than they are right now.

Its comforting and safe sending texts, Snapchats, liking recent photos on Instagram. Making sure you dont seem too available. Playing the game. But youre my son, so trust me when I tell you, you really dont want to get sucked into that. Instead do this:

Take her on a date. A real date. An Im going to pick you up at nine date.

Show her that youre for real. Life is too short to play games and if youre not interested in playing them show her that.

Show her that youre comfortable enough to brave the unknown of it all.

Because the truth is, if you actually get rejected, its the best possible news you could ever get youre actually one person closer to finding a real companion and you no longer have to waste anytime on someone who doesnt want to meet you halfway. Sure, it hurts a little, sometimes a lot, but its never personal. If you can see the reality of the situation, its actually great news.

As a man, there has to be a time when were done with the games. Were done playing. This is how we feel about her and our actions have to reflect that.

Success in any other endeavor really isnt any different: This is what I want. This is what Im going to do to achieve it. Theres no half-way, half-hearted approach about it. Its simple. Be simple. If our love life is going to get any easier then we dont need more technology or more dating apps, we need simplicity. Most of all we need courage and common sense. We all want to save our time, our money, and our heart, so lets just cut the bullshit and find out who this person really is, face-to-face.

Taking her on a date shows her that youre a gentleman, you have manners, and that you value your time with her. Be old fashioned. You dont have to show up with flowers and you dont have to take her somewhere fancy. It doesnt even have to be dinner; it can be anything. Mini golf, coffee, an art gallery, hell, take her to monster truck rally because at least thats more ballsy than 1,000 carefully crafted texts that elicit your desired response.

When you take her out, get to know this person. Theres a completely unexplored world sitting right in front of you.

Relax, laugh, have fun. Dont take out your phone. Be present. Be yourself. Dont feel like there are these crushing expectations of how its supposed to go. Its not a job interview.

The fact is: it takes guts to take someone on a date, it really does. It takes guts to put your ego on the line, to risk rejection. It takes guts to really tell the truth to show that youre genuinely interested in this person and theres nothing in you that is willing to hide it. But thats what being human is all about.

And the truth is, its so much more interesting taking these chances. Because you dont learn anything from hiding behind a phone; you dont grow. You dont get a chance to outgrow or even embrace your awkwardness. You dont get any cool stories either. What kind of life is that? Its not the one I want and it isnt the one I would want for you either.

Nothing compares to the real thing. Being face to face with another human being that you hardly know, but want to get to know thats the real thing. When you get out of your car and walk her to her door thats the real thing. And when you dont know whether or not you should kiss her and inside youre freaking out but you do it anyways that, my son, is the real thing.

But when you invite her over to binge-watch Netflix, (well, youre in the future right now, so Lord knows what youre watching. Hopefully its season 15 of ) thats not real.

The butterflies, the awkwardness, the forced conversation. Usually, we try desperately to avoid these. But theyre a rite of passage.

Nothing truly good is free in this world, it has to be earned. You dont get to find someone youre truly happy with by playing it safe, by not putting yourself out there.

Robin Williams said it better than I ever could. You’re not perfect, sport. And let me save you the suspense. This girl you met, she isn’t perfect either. But the question is: whether or not you’re perfect for each other. That’s the whole deal. That’s what intimacy is all about. Now you can know everything in the world, sport, but the only way you’re finding out that one is by giving it a shot.

So give it a shot, son you wont regret it.

Oh, and one last thing. When you take her out, wear shoes. Real shoes. Not sneakers, not Jordans, not Airmax’s and definitely not sandals. Just trust me on this one.

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