Red alert for all coffee-addicted betches: Somebody invented a caffeine bracelet. If you’re reading this in line at Starbucks, it’s too late for you this morning, but you’ll be able to buy your own caffeine bracelet soon. In case you were wondering, Howard Schultz is losing his shit right now.
This company, Joule, made bracelets that work just like the birth control patch (if anybody uses those) and nicotine patches by sending caffeine straight to your bloodstream through your skin. Instead of drinking gallons of cold brew and peeing ever thirty minutes, now you can just wear a fugly accessory and get your daily dose of caffeine. The other benefit is that you can regulate how much caffeine you take in throughout the day, so you don’t get jittery or crash. So they say. I’m not convinced that absorbing caffeine directly through my skin by osmosis is not going to turn me into an insane person. We’ll see.
The good news is the patches are FDA approved, although the bracelets aren’t available yet, so you won’t be able to use the caffeine bracelet to help with your Friday morning hangover. But if you invest on the IndieGoGo page, you can get one whenever they do come out for like, $30. Personally I’m just waiting for the day they invent a caffeine IV drip. Then I’ll be golden.